7, Cat's Foot Lane has long been associated with the bottling of discarded echoes. Recently a lorry load of these bottles crashed instantly releasing almost twenty thousand echoes into the air. A police spokesman said that trying to retrieve the echoes has so far proved difficult . The rest of his message was inaudible.
2022 Fairy Rock Festival 2nd -16th July
Human visitors to the 2022 Fairy Rock Festival are requested to make sure that their fairy portal visa is still valid before making the journey.
You are also reminded that the following road signs have a different meaning in the fairy realm
Rolling Stones Concert
Rain expected bring an umbrella
Dolly Parton Concert
Many humans assume that fairies have a preference for more rustic things occasionally however a younger fairy may request a more contemporary door for their home entrance. Here is one such door I have recently made and I must admit it does look quite pleasing. I am not so keen however on the current trend among some young fairies to have holes in their wings.
Number 37, Well Court is the clubhouse of the Warkworth Fairy Cricket Club.
This is the premises of the Warkworth & District Fairy Botanical Society. They are responsible for running the annual Summer horticultural show with competitions ranging from best root vegetables to most original children's spell. There are also fancy dress competitions for the young fairies. Last year's winner Lily Stitchwort surprised and delighted the judges with her exquisitely crafted costume of St. George & the Dragonfly.
Hot Dreams Exhibition
Ye Olde Fairy Smithy Warkworth has long been associated with metal objects of artistic merit. Recently however some "Essence of Dream" has been introduced into the fire during the forging process. This new technique has enabled some quite extraordinary imaginative sculptures to be created for the very first time.
A recent exhibition of this process entitled "Hot Dreams" has proved very popular although it seems a small number of fairies had attended the exhibition for the totally wrong reasons.
Agrimony Wishing Wells
This fairy is Lucy Agrimony and no doubt many readers will recognise the surname from its association with the firm:
Agrimony Brothers Ltd. Wellwrights
Lucy is the great grand-daughter of Bill Agrimony who was world famous for his bespoke wishing wells. An Agrimony wishing well is still regarded as a status symbol.
Lucy no longer works for the firm but since her retirement has been running a residential home for orphaned ladybirds.
This house is the home of Silvia Trefoil who is perhaps best known as our local "Water Diviner." Ms Trefoil is able, with the aid of a split hazel wand, to locate all manner of hidden objects as well as detecting running water. Her services are often called upon to retrieve lost jewelry and other personal items but her most famous find to date was to locate the wreck of the Titanic as being in the Atlantic Ocean.
Audrey Tormentil is both a local scholar and intellectual. She is able, with some authority, to speak on a wide range of subjects ranging from linguistics to buttercup field theory. She has recently issued the following statement :-
Science now proves that the rule
"i before e except after c " is no longer true.
THEY SHOOT HORSEFLIES DON'T THEY ?
These are the premises of "Smoke & Mirrors Ltd." the local manufacturer of the reflected image. When a new mirror is produced it is the job of a mirror fairy to step inside the frame and ensure that the reflected image produces a consistent perspective. They also need to ensure that any lettering in the image is correctly reversed in the mirror itself. Certain letters are particular prone to mistakes that's why apprentice mirror fairies are frequently taught to "mind their 'p's and 'q's " thus avoiding the most common mistake.
Within fairy realms there is a small, almost invisible worm, which feeds on left over portions of alphabet soup. This tiny creature has the scientific name of Wormus Alphabetus but is locally known by its more common name of "bookworm." Fairies who come in prolonged contact with this worm before the age of ten develop an insatiable appetite for reading.
Sharing books and frequent visits to the library helps many fairies cope with this strange syndrome. It has to said however most fairies enjoy the reading experience and gladly welcome its curious symptoms.
7a, Water Lily Street,
Doors Open 8:30 Nightly
Tel: 561 to book front row seats
This is a real unedited photograph taken on the planet Mars by the Curiosity rover. Of course this structure may not be the work of fairies but its nice to speculate that they could have got there first !
23, Sumchance Road,
Beyond this gold door are the business premises of Cashalot Ltd. It is here that the annual harvest of four-leafed clovers is brought and, after a period of fermentation, distilled into lucky numbers to be sold as lottery enhancement products.
Since the great human pandemic of 2020 there has been an exponential growth in the number of face coverings humans have been wearing. Now that the worst of the pandemic is receding many facemasks have been discarded. Litter is abhorrent to fairies so special task forces have been appointed to travel around the region on tortoises to collect these discarded masks. Once cleaned and sorted the face coverings are then converted into luxury garden hammocks for fairies.
Sun, Sea & Sky
Warkworth is well known for its beautiful countryside it is perhaps less well known for its stunning beach. Many fairies rent beach houses in the Summer months and bask outside in the sunshine hoping to give their wings an attractive tan. The young fairies however are much more intent on making sandcastles and consuming indulgent amounts of the delicious local Morwick ice cream.